A Confession from a Relational Therapist

Maybe this is my bias as a relational therapist, but I don’t believe that memorizing the terminology is of the utmost importance, or that my clients and I cannot make progress without that knowledge. I think a key way we grow is through having a safe and trusting relationship with each other. I swear I’m not just enabling myself so I don’t have to learn the right words! I really believe the connection is the remedy.

Therapist ThoughtsTanvi YennaFebruary 2, 2026relational, therapist, trauma, psychotherapy, trust, rapport, safety, confession

Abolition and Trauma: Learning to Imagine Again

Oppressive structures rely on our hopelessness to thrive. As Erica Miners succinctly writes, “Liberation under oppression is unthinkable by design.” I’ve been thinking about how relational trauma enacts a similar result on an individual basis.

Validating Feelings, Not Entitlement: An Abolitionist Lens

I often tell clients, friends and people who ask about my job that a huge part of what I do during sessions is validating feelings. Folks justifiably want to feel like what they are experiencing and feeling makes sense and it is okay to have their emotional response. Most of the time this is true and I am happy to remind people that the way they are feeling makes sense. Recently, I’ve been feeling like sometimes we believe we are entitled to certain outcomes or actions based on our emotions. What does this mean in the context of harm, repair, and abolition?

Therapist ThoughtsTanvi YennaSeptember 8, 2025abolition, therapy, feelings, relationships, harm, violence, survivors, justice, emotions, validation

Transformative Justice for All: Abolition and Survivorhood

Working with survivors of sexual assault for the past 10 years has offered me the chance to learn from a wide breadth of stories and experiences. I am grateful to every person who has allowed me to witness and be with their pain for even the briefest moment. Everyone’s story is unique, but I have been reflecting on the common desire among many survivors to incarcerate people who hurt them.

Found Family and Relationship Anarchy

Relationship anarchy reminds us that relationships outside of family can be just as powerful and sometimes more powerful, depending on the person. We do not have to rely on the idea that relationships prioritized by the state and cultural norms are the most important ones

Year End Reflections (Part 3): The Power of a Good Therapeutic Fit

A lot of folks don’t realize that you are allowed to talk to your therapist about aspects of their therapeutic style or approach that don't work for you.

Year End Reflections (Part 2): How to Know If Your Therapist Is Still the Right Fit

There is something truly magical about a long-term relationship with an amazing therapist who feels like the perfect fit for you. And taking the time to periodically re-evaluate the relationship is a good habit to get into. Here are some questions you might ask yourself to reflect on your relationship with your therapist:

Year End Reflections (Part 1): Is Your Therapist Still a Good Fit?

As we near the end of another calendar year, your therapist might initiate a conversation with you about your therapeutic relationship. They might ask questions like…