Year End Reflections (Part 2): How to Know If Your Therapist Is Still the Right Fit

There is something truly magical about a long-term relationship with an amazing therapist who feels like the perfect fit for you. And taking the time to periodically re-evaluate the relationship is a good habit to get into. Here are some questions you might ask yourself to reflect on your relationship with your therapist:

• Do I feel understood, respected, and valued by my therapist?
  Feeling seen and heard is essential for a positive therapy experience.

• Is my therapist’s style still aligned with my needs?
  Our needs evolve. What worked for you initially might not feel as helpful anymore, and that’s okay.

• Are there topics I avoid bringing up in therapy?
  If you feel like you’re holding back or afraid of being misunderstood, it might be time to address these feelings.

• Do I feel supported in my growth, or do I need something different?
  Therapy should encourage you to grow in ways that feel supportive and aligned with your goals.

These questions can provide clarity on whether you and your therapist are still the right match. If you find upon reflection that something feels off about the therapeutic relationship, bringing it up with your therapist and talking it through can actually deepen and strengthen your connection. When you're able to name and identify your feelings to your therapist, and when they respond with care and consideration, it feels amazing!

If you bring up an issue with your therapist, and they become dismissive, defensive, condescending, or react in otherwise poor ways, that's important information and you have important decisions to make. As much as a warm, caring, competent therapist can be an invaluable support to your personal growth journey, a dismissive, defensive, or avoidant therapist can inhibit your growth, throw a spanner into your healing process, or even cause profound harm. Unfortunately, this kind of thing does happen. And it's awful.

Did You Know? As much as a long-term relationship with a therapist who is the right fit for you can be wonderful, a long-term relationship with a therapist who is the wrong fit for you can be, at best, a lot of time and money wasted, and at worst, detrimental to your growth and healing.

To summarize:

• If it feels good and right, keep going.

• If it feels weird and off, check in about it.

• If it feels problematic or wrong, it might be time for a change.   

Ever grateful to be on the journey with you,

Benita