Holiday Drama? Show Up as You, Not Who They Expect!
The holiday season can feel overwhelming with all the tasks, emotions, and responsibilities. You may find yourself hastily wrapping up work projects, managing household preparations, or navigating family and social commitments. It can be easy to find yourself stretched thin!
As the holidays approach with their promise of joy, renewal, celebration, and togetherness, they often bring a unique set of complexities. For many, it can feel like a quiet tug-of-war between the person you are and how others want you to be. You may find yourself bracing for the annual visit to that extended family member's home who always knows how to push your buttons. Or it could look like visiting your in-law's home and getting bombarded with unsolicited parenting tips and judgments. It might even be the first holiday where being with family isn’t a possibility due to distance, strained relationships, or loss. These moments can trigger a subtle yet persistent desire to be seen, heard, welcomed, and valued for who you are, not just who you are expected to be.
If you are already thinking about how to prepare for the pressure of the holidays, know that you are not alone. This season can stir up a lot and be an incredible weight to carry alone. Here are a few things to reflect on as the season approaches:
We often associate frustration and anger with being negative, but they are natural, valid human reactions and serve a purpose!
There can be pressure to fit into a role – whether as a dutiful child, caring partner, selfless relative, happy-go-lucky friend, or on-the-ball employee. It’s easy to fall into the trap of absorbing the expectations of others and setting our own needs to the side.
There can be a profound loneliness of not feeling celebrated as your authentic self.
Setting boundaries is deeply personal – what works for one person may not work for another, and that's perfectly okay!
Reaching out for support can be a crucial part of your journey to understanding and meeting your needs.
The holidays can serve as a reminder that the chapters of your life are still unfolding. This season, remember that there’s no right way to experience the holidays and no formula for holiday cheer. Whether you are navigating family challenges, coping with loss, dealing with uncertainty, relationship stress, work pressures, financial strain, seeking personal growth, or simply just trying to find peace in the chaos, it’s okay to show up as you are.