Sexual Assault Awareness Month: Get Pissed Off

Since I began my social work career nine years ago, I have worked closely with survivors of sexual violence. Even before that, like everyone else, I grew up in a world where rape culture and sexual violence are the air that we breathe. Discussing sexual trauma brings up a range of emotions like disgust, sadness and fear but I primarily become enraged. I’ve been a social worker for a long time, but I’ve been pissed off for longer. 

While speaking with trauma survivors, I frequently hear people say “I don’t want to be an angry person,” or “my anger is so exhausting.” I can understand that anger does not feel like a sustainable place to land forever, but the nature of emotions is that they are temporary. All feelings come and go and morph and change. You don’t have to be an angry person to be a person that experiences anger. 

Anger can be a guiding compass and a mobilizing force. Anger is present in protests against genocide, injustice, and has helped achieve every civil rights win in history. Anger is also what leads a white dude to punch through drywall after the ref makes a bad call. Anger often calls on us to move and do. When my anger bubbles at the surface I try to listen to what she has to say.

Let your rage protect you and offer you clarity. Many of us survivors of sexual trauma spend years stuck in shame spirals, wondering how much of the violence was preventable by our own actions or questioning the severity of the situation. My righteous anger doesn’t do that though. My anger says FUCK THAT. My anger says “what happened to me was wrong,” and “this should not happen to anyone,” and “the world should be better.” My anger protects my sadness by reminding me that I GET to be sad about an awful thing happening to me or someone else. 

I feel like a lot of us are pretty “aware” of sexual assault. Anger moves me from awareness to action.