Therapists at Toronto Relationship Clinic deeply value connection. We believe that no one is an island and we all have a responsibility to fiercely tend to the people around us. We are here to help you look after each other.
Who is Couple Therapy For?
Are you bumping up against issues in your relationship that you can’t navigate alone? Have you been frustrated with couple therapy that feels like treading water? Couples often feel stuck in the same cycle and unable to move through conflict in their relationships. This can feel so discouraging and hopeless. Couple therapy can help interrupt this cycle. The work may not be easy or comfortable, but it is crucial and necessary, especially in our closest relationships.
Whether you are in a monogamous relationship or practicing polyamory, we can provide you with the foundation for how to be in each other’s care. In couple therapy, you can learn to give and receive the types of care that helps your relationship thrive. You can develop a deeper understanding of you and your partner’s needs and wounds that were created long before you met. Learning how to tend to each other’s wounds and meet each other’s needs helps you both feel safe and secure together.
why should we go to couple therapy?
Wondering if your relationship is a good fit for couple therapy? Here are a few reasons why people may seek support:
To negotiate non-monogamy terms and have some help along the way
To prepare for long-term commitment and strengthen your foundation
To seek guidance in setting up safe kink practices
To work through a consent violation in a safe and just way
To stop feeling stuck having the same argument over and over again
To navigate a break-up and separate from each other in a healthy way
Your relationship does not have to be in crisis to begin couple therapy. Your work in therapy can be preventative, skill-building, or aimed at strengthening the bond you have created.
“Couple therapy is not about pointing fingers or keeping score. It’s about regaining the feeling that you and your partner can find safety in each other.”
Do I need individual therapy or couple therapy?
Individual therapy is a great place to work through topics that center you, but healing a relationship has to happen in a shared space. Trying to address relational issues solely in individual therapy can create silos and isolate people further. Investing in relationships with other people means being vulnerable together. There is no substitute for healing in connection. We cannot engage in necessary conversations and repair in isolation.
How does couple therapy work?
We will start by meeting with both of you together to gather background information about your relationship and its history. Then each of you will meet with your therapist individually once to build rapport and discuss your individual childhood attachment experiences. Afterwards, you will resume couples sessions. You and your partner will work with your therapist to identify the negative cycle you may be stuck in that is rooted in unmet attachment needs. Read more about Emotion-Focused Couples Therapy here.
What makes our approach different?
Systems-Oriented Perspective
We do not live in a vacuum. Global issues impact our relationships too.
Inclusive and Liberation-Focused
No one is free until all of us are free. Nurture liberatory practices with your partner(s).
One-Size-Does-Not-Fit-All
We can alternate between individual and couple sessions to best fit your needs.
Comfortable in Conflict
We do not shy away from conflict or big feelings.
We Will Go Deeper
We won’t give you band-aid solutions. We will encourage you to dig underneath the surface.
What do we owe each other?
Being in intentional relationships means that we are responsible to and for each other. We centre commitment and connection. When we are invested and passionate about our relationships, what do we owe each other?
We owe each other vulnerability, honesty and the willingness to work through challenges together.
We owe each other the time and effort to understand each other’s perspectives and needs, even if and especially when our perspectives differ.
We owe each other curiosity, compassion, and care.