I happen to believe that your therapist should be the easiest person with whom to have the hardest conversations! A lot of folks don’t realize that you are allowed to talk to your therapist about aspects of their therapeutic style or approach that don't work for you. They're allowed to let you know if it's something that they can either fix or adjust for you or if it's something that would be best addressed by finding a therapist who is a better fit.

Ultimately, you should be able to come into therapy with all the nuances of your expansive identities and unique experiences, and feel seen, heard, respected, affirmed, understood, and accepted. This doesn't mean you won't be encouraged, even challenged, towards greater awareness and continued growth. It does means that you won't be put into a box. Assumptions won't be made about you. You can to tell, write, and re-write your story however you wish. And we are here for all of it. 

As you evolve, don’t be afraid to ask yourself if your therapist still feels like the best fit for where you are along your journey. To be clear, I'm not suggesting that you switch therapists the moment something becomes uncomfortable. In fact, discomfort is an important part of the growth and learning process. Instead, I'm inviting you to seek out a therapeutic relationship that you can really lean into—and then really lean into it!

A longer term relationship with a therapist can be a beautiful thing, a refuge even, especially when you're working through really hard stuff. In fact, simply having someone witness your evolution longitudinally can be healing in ways you might never have imagined. That being said, I like to always encourage folks to bring things up with your therapist if things don’t feel great (and if you have the bandwidth to do so). Otherwise, find one that aligns with you in all the ways that allow you to feel safe to show up as your whole, authentic self, week in and week out.

Ever grateful to witness your evolution,

Benita